Today, it’s raining. I’m not even shocked, I’d be more shocked if it wasn’t. It’s Glasgow. It’s been a long wet one the over the past few months. I am not going to let it spoil my fun today, I have a swagger today and feel it’s time to venture past the East End of Glasgow. I make my way to the Subway, picturing the amazing photo opportunities that await me. I am thinking about all the great photos I have seen the past few months on all the great street forums that were created in the Subway.
Something weird happens though, I bottle it. I get claustrophobic deep down under the city of Glasgow. People watch me suspiciously, I feel suspicious, I see uniformed staff from Scottish Transport and they are looking at me like I am about to commit a hideous crime. I am aware that because I feel suspicious I now look suspicious, I look at my Fuji camera pretending I am going through old images taken like I am reminiscing some old shots. Deep down I am saying you have failed, game is a major bogey. I have drawn so much attention to myself by being paranoid. People turn away from me as they know, this guy is here to take our picture. I have now lost the element of surprise. For the first time ever I have camera fright.
I hear the voices of those who I have followed and admired over the years in photography. “Don’t go home regretting the shot you never got” “don’t regret that missed shot”. These statements are true as the echo through my head. I get my act together briefly, but my confidence is gone, my usual certain confidence has dipped and I am now on a salvage mission. I look up and around and the platform is empty bar a few people, in my meltdown I missed a bloody tube train.
The Salvage Mission
I go into automatic pilot now, numb to my fear, smell the fear and just do it. I stand up and move around like a crafty bugger, trying to regain my composure. I fire off a few shots, nothing to ignite my fire. I hear another tube coming and position myself bang center of the platform back against the wall waiting like a sniper, Camera raised to get the motion shots, to catch any interesting humans I can. I start snapping as the tube draws in, this time I know I have managed a few decent ones. I brave it onto the tube and sit down and my bloody fear returns, once again I have camera fright, never had it, and in the space of 30 mins I get it twice. I try to fight it, but fail I am too self conscious now. I snap a few more and leave the station. At least I got a few I challenged my comfort zone and almost won. Next time I am going into the tube like Rambo on a mission, firing shots out like an army pro. Next time I will be ready.
Once the fresh air hits me I find myself in the West End, and my confidence returns, I walk about a little but the streets are empty, the rain has kept everyone away. I put this photo-walk in the experience file and go on about my day, or try to, I go over everything in my head and feel frustrated. Here is some I felt just made the grade 🙂